Another day down

Please note the 3D glasses on his head. These glasses are worn on his face when Barney sings "The Blues". And yes, J has the dance down as well.


Here we are again. Another post - which means 2 things. One, I found some time alone and two, more days have passed. They are equally exciting to me. My mom took Jackson to church. It's pretty amazing of her, because he won't stay in the nursery alone. He's been with me since the day he was born, and not used to being left with strangers. So, she will sit with him for the duration of the service. She's set a goal to get him to be comfortable enough to (hopefully!) stay there by himself someday soon.

I stayed with him a couple weeks back, and he cried....a lot! I think kids are just more emotional with their parents. So, thanks mom!

A few more days down until Jackson gets to see his Daddy. I've seen several homecomings on Facebook lately. How in the world did I end up meeting so many people in similar situations to me? In any case, I'm just ready for it to be our turn. We've already gone 161 days without Jonathon here. That's a lot! I'm absolutely counting down the days now. I booked his ticket the other day (holy heck!) and our tickets for Las Vegas.

Maybe one day, we'll actually have time to do a real honeymoon. Iraq and Korea has made that pretty impossible so far - but we will, and it will be amazing. Until then, we'll sneak in little getaways like this one. We're very excited to sleep in, and I know Jonathon is excited to see a place he's never been before. I haven't been there since my family lived there. My first field trip ever was to a casino show - no joke! It'll be so fun to see the things I didn't get to see as a kid.

Jackson has learned to fake cry (Thanks mom!). He won't stop until you say, "Oh my baby, let me hug you". Not even kidding. The worst part is, he REALLY gets loud with it when he hears another kid throwing a tantrum. It's semi embarrassing that my kid is mocking other kids - but it's also so funny. I'm convinced that's the hardest part about parenting - - telling your kid not to do something when it's actually pretty comical.

He also fake sleeps now (Thanks Mom). Mind you - this fake sleeping is complete with snoring.

He says the word "ball" with a total southern accent, making it probably my favorite word that he says.

On a really sad note (to me), our vacation rental for Jackson's party is a bust. I spent FOREVER finding a place that would work. The guy sent over a contract and something didn't sit right with me. I had just signed and returned the deposit for the condo in Water Valley and had no issues with it at all - and that was 2.5 times more money! So, I knew it wasn't the cost, or the location or the space. However, I just couldn't sign this contract and send him a check. I Google Mapped the address I was supposed to send the check to. It turned out to be a very crappy duplex and there was no way in my mind a person who could afford to keep a 6,000 sq ft home would live in that part of town. Not judgmental - just very fishy!

I called my dad and he told me to really trust my instincts. I emailed the guy back and asked to see the house in person and I'd sign and give him the contract then. Guess what? 2 emails and a few days later - no word from him.

I really wanted the house. I had my whole vision crushed. We'll do the party at my parent's house and I extended our stay at the condo so we'll have it the afternoon Jonathon and I get back from Vegas. It's sucky, and I'm so irritated - but I'm glad I didn't lose out on the large amount of money AND have to do some last minute party planning.

I just ordered Jackson's invites. I got the PDF file and my wonderful Aunt Michelle took the file and ordered my copies through her lab. I'm very excited about them. What will my life be when I don't have a party to plan? Oh right, I'll be getting ready to move!

I'm still around...

Where have I been?! Probably wishing I was sleeping, or tagging along on my mom's "to-do" list because Jackson insists on going everywhere she does.

I can't say a lot has changed. Actually, it probably has. Jackson is just growing like a weed. He's just the brightest and most intelligent boy I've ever met. For real, not just because he's mine. :) My mom describes him as "scary smart". I swear there are things that he does that we just look at each other and say, "how did he know to do it that way?!".

Like bowling. My mom and I took the kids bowling. I was so excited to help Jackson bowl, but he had other plans. Emilie and I were up at the snack bar, (getting a warm, gross soda as it turned out) and I ended up giving Em the money and rushing down because I didn't want to miss his first bowling experience. Well, we ALL missed it. My mom looked down to put the names in the computer, and my clever son (who's never seen a bowling ball in his life) already had his ball down his lane AND he actually knocked pins down. (Better than his mama!)

He also gets VERY upset when we tell him that he cannot drive. Yes, 80% of the time we go somewhere, we have to explain to him why he has to sit in his car seat and why he just can't drive yet. He's also refusing to sleep in his bed, sit in his booster seat (he prefers Papa's chair at the table), and he frequently asks for a knife to cut his food. Do I have a 21 month old or a 13 year old?! I feel like the arguments are going to be the same.

Jackson's favorite word seems to be "Papa". My dad is only home for about 9 days a month, so J absolutely cherishes that time. When my dad left this last time, he took my mom over to the coffee pot and called it "Papa's". My mom and I are working on getting him to say our names, but he doesn't. Well, he's never really said "Momma". He calls me mom and it's usually when he's very upset.

Jackson is sick right now, but thankfully it seems to be far less severe than the last illness. My healthy kid never got sick until he was 15 months old, and I think this is his 3rd illness since then. He was refusing to let me wipe his nose (which just turned into a big, snotty fight), so I got clever and got the Puff's with Vicks. Turns out, if you let the kid smell the tissues before using one, he'll lay down on his own and actually give you an appropriate time to clean him up. Who woulda thought?! Jackson is just a creature of habit and he has little tricks about him that make life a whole lot easier once you know them.

What else is new? Jackson now folds his hands during prayers. He ASKS to say prayers a few times a day now. It's also a requirement for every person who's in the room at that time to also fold their hands, otherwise he'll (no joke!) interrupt the prayer and physically move your hands for you. Cutest thing I've seen in a while.

Jonathon and I firmed up leave days FINALLY. You'd think they never wanted him to get out of there. After all is said and done, and a million dollars later, it's going to be an amazing month for our little family. I'm so excited to get the ball rolling on all of our plans. I think we all need a little break and thanks to my mom, Jonathon and I can take a few days and just relax on our own. I know I'm already dreading leaving my little guy - but I'll be a better mommy for coming back rejuvenated and ready to have some fun with J. I must have told my mom a hundred times in the last 6 weeks or so how bad I just want to sleep and do nothing.

So if anyone is interested, Jackson's birthday is TENTATIVELY scheduled for September 10th, 2011. It will stay that way unless something serious happens with Jonathon's leave. I'm only planning this far in advance because we have SO many people's schedules to consider, and Jonathon has to fit a lot in that first week he's here. I promise I'm not THAT crazy - - but yeah, kinda sucks having to figure out so much stuff this far in advance. But pencil us in! :)

It's been awhile!

I can't believe I haven't updated since March! So much has happened.

We did spring break in Arizona. My Aunt Michelle took gorgeous pictures of Jackson. Actually, they almost didn't happen. My son was such a diva the first afternoon we took him. He cried, ran, and had zero smiles for the camera. We decided to try him in the morning - and guess what? He's a morning dude! He did so well, and she was quick so it was a painless process. Check out her website - www.magicalmemoriesbymichelle.com If I find her some clients in my area, she'll come visit. :) We also had so much fun at the Phoenix Zoo. Jackson slept so well at their house, I'm sad we aren't there everyday!

To date, Jonathon has been gone 102 days. It's hard to believe on one hand because we're both so busy that time is flying by. And on the other hand, at night when we talk or when I'm getting ready for bed, he's noticeably not here. Jackson and I sure do miss him, but we're so thankful that we're already halfway to Jonathon's leave. He'll be here for our baby boy's SECOND birthday. Can you believe he'll be TWO!? I can't. Time flies when you're sleep deprived!

We're thinking of doing his party either labor day weekend or the following weekend. Depending on the days Jonathon gets off of course. WAIT, can you believe Jackson will be 2?!

Matthew and Emilie only have a few days left in school. I'm sure this will sadden Jackson because he loves to take them to school. He even grabs their lunches for them! He loves eating breakfast with them and being one of the big kids. Looks like J and I will have some quality morning alone time.

My Grandma has been in the hospital with some heart issues, so prayers would be greatly appreciated. She's my last, and dare I say, most influential, grandparent. She never missed sending us kids cards for holidays (some we weren't even aware existed! :), and she's just amazing. I call her once a week, and we can talk forever! Anyway, please keep her in your thoughts.

Spring break!

Where has the time gone?!

Jonathon has been gone for 6 weeks already - which means I've survived the first month! I didn't really doubt I COULD do it - but I surely didn't WANT to. However, if there is just one thing I've learned it's this: I NEED my next child to sleep more than J does. 25 minute naps are just plain cruel.

We've met up with a friend who has 2 little girls for play dates a few times, and I have to say...I think I enjoy them even more than Jackson does. I'm hopeful that I'm not the only stay at home mom that needs a break. J is pretty shy, but we're working on it, and I think we're making progress!!

Tomorrow (Monday the 14th) Jackson and I are flying to Arizona for Spring Break. Ok, so maybe it's not technically our spring break - - but it's Spring and I need a break. We'll be staying with my Aunt Michelle and Uncle Lance in Mesa and I'm confident that we'll have a blast. Aunt Michelle will be taking pictures of Jackson again (which I'm SO thankful for!). I can't get enough photos of my baby, er, big boy!

Speaking of that, tomorrow is also Jackson's half birthday. Yeah, the "baby" is 18 months old. I can't even believe it. My friend just had a baby, and while on the phone with her, I heard her son crying. He sounded so small and it seems like it was a million years ago that J sounded that way. However, I love watching him discover and learn new things as a toddler.

For instance, he has discovered that he loves vitamin C tablets. He gets a vitamin C and a toddler Flinstones vitamin each day. However, he'd eat the whole container if given the chance. He'll actually take me or my mom by the hand and lead us to where we keep them, point and ask for another. Seriously? Who likes taking those things? Most mornings, it's the first thing he runs to when he wakes up. That's hard core committment right there. It's bad when you have to cut your child off from vitamins.

Jackson and Jonathon got to Skype last night. Jackson loved seeing his dad and they interacted so well even though we're so far apart. Jackson talked up a storm and showed his dad his new hair cut. It absolutely broke my heart when Jackson held out his hands (which means "come here"). Jonathon told him he wishes he could be here and he loves him very much. No lie, I had tears. I cannot wait until Jonathon can take leave and spend some time with his boy...and me!

I'm considering spending the summer in Michigan on the beautiful Lake Charlevoix. My Grandma offered and who could say no to that?! Well, possibly me...there would be some details to work out. I absolutely love summers there and I think Jackson would soak it up as well.

I'll post again after our trip!

It's hard.

Being a military wife is like walking a tight rope. You hear those people who constantly say how strong you are, how brave you are and how impressed they are with your stiff upper lip and your determination to handle everything when he's gone. Those people have no idea.

You hear others say they could never do it, or wouldn't do it. They cherish the time they have with their husband each night after the kids are tucked in and the chores are done. They would worry every night about their spouce's safety, fidelity and committment to their relationship. Are you kidding me?

Then comes the third group of people questioning YOUR fidelity and committment, and why you would choose this life anyway? Are we wanting free medical care? Base housing? GI Bills? Girl, please.

I'm not sure why those three categories exist, but they do. If I've learned anything over the last 4.5 years I've been with Jonathon, it's that the world is not as black and white as I once thought. In fact, life is just different shades of grey. To every statement I listed above, there is a flip side.

Yes, while I'm playing with my son, trying to get laundry done and keeping us fed, I am strong. You do those things because you have to. It's not a choice. You accept that every diaper is mine to change. Every bath water splash will end up on my clothes. Every messy face is mine to wipe. And every nightmare is mine to comfort. You not only love your child enough to do these things alone, you love your husband enough as well.

Then night comes and your silly little boy is all tucked in. You thank God that he's too young to wonder why Dad isn't saying prayers with him and you don't have to explain to him exactly how long a year is. Then you thank God for those women who do have to explain those things to their children because you know right now, tonight, you wouldn't be able to do it.

You lay in bed where one side is untouched. There's no snoring, blanket stealing or him holding you. You cry silently because you miss him more than anyone could ever possibly imagine. You realize your lives are no longer parrallel and you have no idea what he's doing, if he's eating enough or sleeping well.

You hold onto the emails and short phone calls. You dread the voicemails because that means you missed their call and you're not sure when you'll get another one. You wake up at 3am because your phone rings and you're willing to be a zombie the next day just to hear his voice for 5 minutes.

You hate when you hear how military guys are players and cheaters. Thanks for making me feel inadequate when I already feel so far away from him. You have to trust him with all of your heart and for anyone to question that is out of line. I'll let you know if a situation arises when we need to bury a body if he betrays that trust. Until then, we're fine, thanks for the concern.

And no, category three - I'm not the cheater, moocher, unreliable girl. The truth is that I'm way too uncool to even know how to date. I don't have time to think about another relationship and I'm way too tired to stay up past 9 pm. Did I mention how much I love him?

Our lives are complex. We didn't choose this life, we chose the man. That man came with baggage and we made the decision that he's worth it.

He's gone. Not for the weekend, or for a vacation, but gone for an entire year. I have to stop saying that because a year is such a long time when you're away from the one you love. I am trying really hard to look forward to his R&R - hopefully around Jackson's birthday.

We truly had a wonderful time while he was on leave. My mom was nice enough to keep Jackson for a few mornings so we could sleep in. (Much needed - even though we are old and go to bed at 9:30) We had a wonderful few days in Maryland together before our LONG road trip to Colorado.

We ate at Cinzetti's (Jonathon's love) and at a Mongolian grill. It was just fun being able to pal around and not worry about sleep schedules or work. Can't beat that!

We visited Jonathon's family in Nebraska. Holy cold! It was a nice visit, but I should have brought a bigger coat. Jonathon's sister, Leigh Ann, was in town as well - so he got to see his entire family which was so nice since he'll be gone for.....ok I won't say how long it is. :/

Jonathon and I celebrated our anniversary and Valentine's Day by shopping. Jonathon took me to the Coach store - big mistake. ;) I walked out with a beautiful brown leather bag and a blue wallet. He didn't do so shabby either - he picked out a Remington shot gun. (His first personal gun)

We had a teary goodbye - even Jackson cried which just broke our hearts. Jackson slept the entire hour to the airport, then woke up to say goodbye. I was dreading the ride home since I was an emotional wreck and I knew he'd be awake the whole time and probably cranky. However, after our sad goodbye, our little guy stopped crying when we started driving away from the airport. He looked like he was dazed and just fell asleep.

Jackson never sleeps that long - but he slept the whole way home, and I drove around town for a half hour before deciding that he should probably wake up. I was stunned, but God has a way of giving us what we need when we need it. That day I needed some quiet so I could process Jonathon leaving.

Jackson has taken a liking to waking up at 5:00 am and then wanting to sleep for an hour in my bed. (Sounds like a good deal, but I lay there way too scared to move because I don't want to wake him up) I'm certain I'm encouraging bad sleep habits, but I like that my boy wants to snuggle since he's constantly on the go during the day. We'll enforce better sleep habits when we're used to all the changes going on.

My mom's Aunt Bev died last week. She drove to Phoenix on Saturday to help out with the funeral, and the house work. My dad had to go back to North Dakota the same day Jonathon left for Korea. Talk about everyone leaving at once!

I'll post pictures soon!

December round up

I spent countless hours wrapping, organizing and shopping this December. Well, every December. I am the Christmas CEO around here, and as much fun as I have with the holiday, it's a ton of work! My mom has lists for every kid, and I have to make sure every item is written down and calculated correctly so each kid is even. It's harder than it sounds!

This year, the favorite gifts were electronics. I even got the Clarisonic from Jonathon. LOVE IT. Google it if you haven't heard of it. It's a new obsession. For. Real. He in return got the I Pod Touch. Jackson also got us gifts, like the Cabelas Dangerous Hunts 2011. FUN.

We also got a very unexpected and amazing Christmas gift. Jackson and I were able to spend time with Jonathon over Christmas. Jonathon was able to help put together Jackson's "cozy coupe" from Grammie and Papa, and help me wrap all the gifts I was in charge of. After making VERY last minute flight arrangements, and a million dollars later, we were able to include him in our Christmas festivities. Praise God because I was getting really down about him missing Christmas this year AND next year.

Jackson loved all of his gifts. He really banked a ton this Christmas. He LOVES his Coupe and will even sit in it and just watch tv or eat a snack. It's hilarious.

We spent Christmas evening at my Aunt Laurie and Uncle Dave's house. Their house was beautifully decorated for the holidays, and their basement served as the general gathering place for dinner. Jackson was pretty dang grumpy. His poor teeth were killing him, and he ended up staying up 2 hours past bedtime. Luckily, it's not something that has to happen again for quite some time!

I'll be flying to Maryland Januray 6 to visit Jonathon for a couple of days. We'll drive back together to my house in Colorado. Jackson will be staying home and I'm already dreading leaving him.

In other news, my Grandpa Otto, the only grandpa I've ever known, passed away on the 18th of this month. He was a very giving man and always helped anyone he could. Heaven is very lucky to have him. He'll be missed greatly. My Aunt Laurie put together a slide show of his life and she played it on Christmas. I think everyone was tearing up looking back at the wonderful memories.