Being Thankful

I'll do something I NEVER do - I'll let the whole world know (ok, maybe the 5 of you who read what I write..) about a specific fight Jonathon and I had.  

Ok, well, this is embarrassing.  I don't even remember what we argued about.  Honestly it doesn't matter.  It wasn't the disagreement that brought on the profound idea I had.

These last couple years, we've known too many people be diagnosed with illnesses, pass away, suffer loss of a child, and really just get a sucky, raw deal.  I've been stewing on these ideas and circumstances for a very long time, honestly probably a few years.

It's always in the back of my mind that illness is always a possibility.  I see that accidents happen. 
I listen to the fundraisers for St. Jude Children's Hospital.  I cry. A lot.  Prayer has gotten to me more and more over the years.  I used to pray as I fell asleep in high school and I'd joke that God gets tired of listening to me so he puts me to sleep.  Now, I pray while I'm fully wide awake so I don't miss a single thing.  There's a saying, "What if you woke up today with only the things you prayed for yesterday".  Holy!  I take that one to heart.  


At the beginning of the year, I was on my way to get breakfast when my favorite radio station was broadcasting live at the fundraiser for St. Jude's.   I honest to God cried my whole way home.  Needless to say, we now make monthly donations to that hospital, and pray we never need to go there ourselves.  Jon had a family member receive a cancer diagnosis and it REALLY hit home for me.  The odd thing was, I didn't know this family member too well - but it didn't stop me from going infront of my church, with full on tears asking for our Senior pastor to lead the 400+ congregation in prayer for this special person. 


First off, I don't do things like that.  I am a silent observer and I keep my faith very close to the vest.  I talk to God all day long, yet asking my church to pray with me was so foreign.  Anyhow, these kids in these hospitals have such a special place in my heart.  


Then there are the kids who don't have enough to eat.  My child complains when we're out of Goldfish, and there are actually children starving.  I think about all the parents out there who are honest to goodness good people but they lost their job and have no clue how they'll feed their kids.  


I think about the kids who don't have a forever home.  They're lonely, confused, angry and they have every right to be.  


Back to the fight.  I told Jon that he complains too much.  I'm an avid believer if you want more trials and tests on your plate, then complain.  It's like a challenge to God.  Let's not challenge God.  I know he DOES NOT punish, but he TEACHES and sometimes those lessons are ROUGH.  I looked at my amazing husband and said, "At some point, you need to look around and be thankful that our child is healthy, and happy, and secure and safe.  He is smart and perfect and the most gorgeous kid I've ever seen.  Be thankful you have a job and a home. We have food on the table every night".  He looked at me and just said, "you're absolutely right".  Whoa.  


That's the cool thing about marriage.  I'm able to remind him of all the things we have and he's able to teach me lessons I wouldn't have otherwise gotten.  Let's all put more into our marriage than what we take out.  Do you want to win or do you want to be married?  


As for me, besides my amazingly perfect child, I'm thankful that I have such a great husband.  I'm thankful that we've made it.  I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about how we'll pay our bills or keep the heat on.  I'm thankful that I have an all loving God to turn to when I'm happy, sad, angry, confused, lonely, thankful, or just need a friend.   I'm thankful to have such amazing friends.  I'm thankful that I've been blessed in every area of my life and I know it's only going to get better from here.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.

 

Here it is

If you know me, or rather know me well, you'll know my plan was to become a writer.  Not just write in my spare time and call my hobby "writing", but rather have a desk at a job that actually pays me to write for them.  I wanted to be known for my work, and possibly even have a pen name. 

The plan was to live in New York, and only come home for the holidays.  I'd live alone, and decorate any way I wanted because I was the only one I had to answer to. 

Then, out of absolutely no where, during a trip to Florida, the total unexpected happened.  Jon walked back into my life.  He was my first relationship, my first love and my first heartbreak.  He walked back into my life as simply as he had walked out 3 years before.  I NEEDED to be with him again.  I felt it in the depths of my very being that I HAD to be with him.  I was nervous to trust again, and after making him wait a few months, we were back together.

Add in a few years together, a beautiful wedding, a difficult deployment, facing so many negative forces, learning to be adults, living on our own far away from anything familiar and finding our path for our marriage - it was a crash course in "life".

Fast forward to what this post is actually supposed to be about.  My sister told me I was pregnant.  You read that right.  I didn't know.  Honest to God the only thing I can actually say looking back is I was so tired around Christmas and on New Years Eve when I tried to have a glass of wine, it tasted horrid.  By the 3rd of January, I found out I was pregnant.  From that minute, even thinking about my child in day care - this little embryo - terrified me.  Jonathon and I talked for a long time before deciding I'd stay home with our child.  It was thought out, calculated, discussed and discussed some more. 

My plan for my life had already fallen apart by marrying a military man.  I loved the new plan.  But now, the old plan was a million miles away from my reach.  I'd be a stay at home mom - the very thing I didn't want right away.  Yet, I couldn't imagine the other option - saying goodbye to my perfect child each morning and missing their day.  Let me say, there is NOTHING wrong with working mothers.  I think it's amazing to juggle so many hats in the family.  However, it wasn't for me.  I play the guilt card far too often and I knew it'd eat me alive to not be with my baby for every minute. 

Even on hard days, I wouldn't trade it.  All the stigma of staying at home is still there in the world, but I can say with a glad heart that this is best for my child, and for our family.  There are days I think about my cute, tiny New York apartment, but it doesn't even kind of compare to looking into Jackson's face each morning knowing he's my teammate in life.  He is my helper, and my dose of what's good in the world. 

I came into being a stay at home mom really nervous.  Now, I really love serving my family - more than I ever could have imagined.  I take pride in Jackson's manners, how much he enjoys reading and that he still wants to hold my hand as he falls asleep. 

I enjoy that my husband can come home from work with a massive basket of dirty work clothes, and leaves with a pile of fresh ones.  I enjoy cooking meals I know he'll love or picking up the necessities he needs.  I like that he can call me during the day and ask me to handle something he just can't get to, or doesn't know how to do. 

For some women, the term "serving" may be outdated or possibly even offensive.  By serving my family, I'm also serving God.  I'm preparing my son to be a man of God and a future husband and father.  I want to enjoy the ONE childhood he gets.  I need to pack so much into these precious years.  If that means that my old dreams stay just that, then I'll be ok.  Because you know what?  My life is full.

I know I'm a parent because...

This is simple.  I have so many reasons I know I'm a mom.  Sitting and thinking about how my life has changed brings up so many memories that seem so far away.  I'm different now.  I might be more boring now, but overall, it's made me such a better person.  

I'm the first to say that Jackson is a miracle.  He's something we didn't even know we needed, but I know Jonathon and I could never live without him.  He makes us whole.  He fills a huge space in my heart that nothing and no one else could ever fill.  Now that you're assured I love him and wouldn't trade him for anything, here are a few reasons I know I'm a parent - and maybe some misconceptions about labor, delivering a child, having a newborn and raising a toddler.  Warning: I'm going to be honest here.

1.  I've never been more pissed off in my life than the time the night nurse told me that  I should try sitting on an exercise ball to ease the pain of a contraction.  Lady, I've been in labor all night.  These contractions are getting worse - I don't want to sit and bounce on a ball.  I'd rather rip your face off and then ask for some medicine.  

2.  I've never been happier in my life than when above mentioned nurse had shift change and my new day nurse greeted me by wheeling in a cart of meds, saying hello and then giving me a shot of I don't know what - but it made my day, and ultimately her day, a lot better.   

3. Yes.  Delivering your child is a miracle. The baby is a miracle, everything is super blessed.  I get it.  No one tells you that after delivering a baby, it looks and feels like a terrorist just bombed and blew up your private parts.  Just the truth.


4.  I never heard that after delivering said miracle, you go home and still look pregnant.  Obvs, I didn't think I'd drop 30 pounds in the delivery room, but good grief, I thought I might have Jackson's twin stuck in my uterus because I really still looked pregnant.


5.  Babies don't sleep.  Yup, we know this.  But did you know that they cry for absolutely no reason?  Then when you call your husband after listening to the crying for 2 hours, he stops home to help and the child falls asleep as husband is pulling in the driveway.  Seriously?  That's shady.


6.  Kids are tricky.  Things that worked yesterday, or this morning for that matter, do not work right now.  Bananas are his favorite food, you buy a bunch of bananas.  He decides bananas are disgusting and would rather go hungry and cry and make you cry because you should have known.


7.  You are a parent now because you and your husband discuss poop more than once a day.  Someone else's poop for that matter.  Suddenly, poop is a topic that has absolutely no stigma attached to it and it's talked about freely.  It becomes need-to-know information.  Um, when did that happen?!


8.  Kids go through a hitting stage.  I've been hit, and while I proceed to promptly put him in time out, he looks at me and cries and hugs me because I've now offended him somehow by punishing him for clocking me in the side of my face.  Great.  I feel like a jerk.  Time out happens anyway and I stand around the corner feeling horrid.


9.  Everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your child.  And guess what? You're always doing it wrong.  


10. At the end of the day, tucking my sweet boy in bed, hearing him call me "mom", feeling his hugs and kisses makes every one of these things worth it.  And, you may just want to do it all again.

A few things..

I recently posted on Facebook that I unpacked a box full of free goodies.  I don't mean samples of shampoo that I get in the mail, but rather normal items that we buy but get a great deal on.  I was flooded with inbox messages on my "magic", and the reality is: there isn't any!

In a previous post, (2 posts down..) I highlighted one shopping trip.  The real idea is that it takes time to stock up on items for a "stock pile".  I don't need to go all Extreme Couponing and buy 200 bottles of mustard, because that doesn't make sense for my family, so even if it's a good deal, it's a waste of money for us.

However, when Jonathon was in the military, he had to shave every other day.  He and I both have sensitive skin, so we never bought cheap razors.  Luckily, the expensive ones are usually the best deal.  I can get them for about $1 a piece, rather than the $6-$8 they normally cost.  This IS a good deal for us.  Decide what your family needs, and look for deals on those items.  Don't get caught up in a good deal, because if it's not something you'd normally use - it's a waste.  The exception to this is, if it's free and can be donated to a battered women's shelter, humane society, needy family, etc.

I find most of my deals at Target.  They have coupons on their website (http://coupons.target.com/#?lnk=nav_t_spc_13_inc_13_16) that you can stack with manufacturer coupons.  This means awesome deals on most items.  UTILIZE THIS!  I recently got Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Dora's Memory Game, Don't Spill the Beans and a card game ABSOLUTELY FREE at Target because of a stacked coupon.  Same with Play Doh.  I have at least 100 containers of the stuff - some of them the cute tiny tubs. These will make great party favors.  I also bought about 50 bottles of Flinstones and One A Day vitamins because instead of spending $6-$9 (depending on the bottle), I spent a whopping $0.30 each.

The razors for example usually have a $3 coupon in the P&G insert of the newspaper (once a month).  Target runs gift card deals, where if you buy 2 razors you'll get a $5 Target gift card.  Ok - so if you buy two razors at $6.50, you have (2) $3 coupons, and you get a $5 gift card back, you're only paying $1 each.  That's when I buy 20 of them because this deal may not come around for another 6 months.  I do count gift cards back as money, because I can spend it the same.

Another way is rebates.  I just received 4 rebates - PAM cooking spray, Feline Pine cat litter, Arm and Hammer cat litter and Lysol wipes.  I have a few more sitting on my counter to be submitted.  In any case - I got every single one of those items for free, or the cost of a stamp rather.  It's nice to get money in the mail box instead of just bills.

A few months ago, IAMS had a coupon for $3 off of any bag of cat or dog food.  I like my cat and dog, but I REALLY don't want them to cost me money.  The trial size bags of IAMS at Target happen to be $3 each.    Between that deal, and a similar Purina One deal that was too good to pass up, I can feed my cat for approximately 18 months.  I wish I could say the same for our dog, but we do buy his food at Sam's Club.

The paper towel deal was simple.  Target made a coupon that said $1 off of ANY Up&Up paper towel (their brand).  Not a good idea on their part! Their single rolls were only $0.98 each, and if you have the right cashier (meaning some teenager who really doesn't care), I made $0.02 cents each, which isn't a ton - but I got 75-100 rolls for free plus some overage for buying it. The older cashiers would price adjust the coupon to the $0.98, whatever.  Not bad!  I know we'll use them, so it's not a waste.

Look for holiday clearance.  At Halloween, Wal Mart was clearing all their Halloween stuff out 2 days after the 31st.  They had BOXES of Hefty plastic party cups - the ones that come 30 to a bag and cost around $3.  I took a shot by asking the manager if they were clearing those out, too, since they were orange and black cups.  She said absolutely and gave them to be for $0.30 a bag.  I have two boxes in my basement now, ready for a party - and not even a Halloween one.  Either color could be used for almost anything.  I would have gotten more, but I felt bad for the kid who had to price adjust every single bag.

The last thing I really utilize is writing to companies.  I give them feedback, good or bad, and in many cases, they send you coupons in return.  This is GREAT, because honestly, the coupons the companies send you are pretty rare.  Lots of free item coupons.  I complained to Windex for a faulty bottle that leaked - they sent me (2) FREE vouchers for new bottles - but they had a value of $4.99 each, which means I got the massive refill sizes for free.  But the same goes if you give positive feedback, I have gotten LOTS of coupons for free stuff by saying I loved it.  It takes time, yes, but when I do this, I try to do 5 a day.  It honestly takes 20 minutes or so, and my mail box gets flooded with free or cheap stuff.  Stay away from Proctor and Gamble or Kraft - unless you have a complaint.  They'll send you coupons if you hated something - but nothing if you liked it.

I also try to share with friends and family, and we donate pet food to the shelter.  I believe I have been given the knowledge to do this for a reason.  Not only to keep my family living comfortably, but to help others who aren't so fortunate.  Do the Lord's work!

Look for blogs who lay out scenarios for you.  They'll give you step by step instructions on what your transaction should look like, no guess work!

The key thing to remember (for me anyway) is that it's not about getting a large quantity in one container - these trial size bags of IAMS were only 14 ounces each.  But, they were FREE!  Get to the check out with spending as little money as possible!  Sometimes, getting the trial sizes is a great deal simply because you put no money into it. 


Happy shopping!!

I'm here!

Hi, I'm Natalie and I'm a terrible blogger.  I can't seem to keep up these days.  Where have I been??  Well, life has changed A LOT!  

Let's start at the top.  Jonathon is now home from Korea and officially out of the military.  Admittedly I really didn't want that to happen at first, but I really came around to the idea of being a civilian family.  There's a significant difference in the pressure and stress we feel - a change for the better! I miss little things, like washing Jonathon's uniforms and shopping at the commissary.  However, I also know that the military really turned into something different than it was the day Jonathon signed up.  We always thought we'd be a career military family, but I really believe that God has his own timing.


I had Jonathon home for 2 solid weeks before my dad called from North Dakota saying he's short handed and really needs Jonathon.  It's an opportunity we couldn't turn down and within days he was on a plane.  For those of you who don't know, my dad is a land surveyor with over 30 years experience.  He's worked in Alaska (every picture of him from those days makes him resemble a yeti with him covered in snow gear) and Saudi Arabia and tons of places in between.  He's been working in the oil and gas industry since I was in high school - which brings us to North Dakota now.  He's an office guy now, but needed extra field guys - and so with that, Jon was his #1 pick. 


My dad is an amazing teacher, so it's perfect that Jon needed teaching.  He's absolutely loving his new job and I'm loving hearing enthusiasm in his voice again.  It's been a long time coming!  Jonathon works 3 weeks on (in theory, sometimes more) and 1 week off.  He's enjoying being outdoors all day, working in a relaxed environment and seeing all the pheasant that he'll hunt later this year.  


In the mean time, Jackson and I moved a few weeks ago to a house in Windsor, Colorado.  It took FOREVER (not kidding!) to find a suitable place.  I might be a tad picky, but this was getting ridiculous.  I looked at about 25 places, and by the time I'd look further into them, I'd find out they were already taken.  Great.  Finally after upping the budget (boo!) and expanding the location search,  I found this home.  It's spacious, has a nice yard and it's in a new subdivision.  Having a new place surely has it's perks.  Jackson is enjoying a jetted garden tub now. :)


All of the changes have just been such a blessing. Trusting God to just give me what I need has become easier with each passing year.  I THANK Him for all that I have, and all I ever will have.  Mostly for Jackson and for keeping him healthy, happy, secure and safe.  It's amazing to me how much I can love one tiny little person.  It's amazing to me that we haven't ever had to worry where his next meal is coming from or how we'll buy him new clothes.  It's easy to take for granted that we've been so incredibly blessed, but I'm reminded that not everyone has that luxury and while we look for ways to give back (I've found a few charities that I really love recently) it's also important to pray for those families and thank the Lord that we have so much.

That last paragraph may be a bit disorganized, but it's just my heart spilling over with gratitude. During our 6 years together, Jon and I have experienced so many twists, turns, disappointments, obstacles and struggles - mostly from being a part for so long - but we've made it.  No outside influences, or negativity, or even the thousands of miles that have separated us in the past have beaten us.  We're here, still standing -stronger than ever - and that is something to be proud of. 

A little peak into my shopping...

When Jackson was born, I promised Jonathon that if I was able to stay home, then I'd save him money. After all, when we dated and had combined bills - I was working, too! We went from two incomes down to one and suddenly also had household bills that we didn't have when we were just dating.

When I moved to Maryland with Jon, it was the first time I had ever lived on my own. (College dorms don't count...) I had lots of IDEAS on how a house should be run, however actually putting them to use was harder than it looked. Holy heck groceries are expensive. And oh my gosh - do I really have to pay THAT much for laundry soap? Yes. I had a huge learning curve ahead of me. Since my parents have always paid for everything, I didn't really know the value of a dollar. I admit that. I wasn't an irresponsible spender, but I certainly never thought that my favorite shirts from Hollister could cost the same as some Tide and Charmin.

Enter in late nights with a baby, needing some quiet time and just wanting to save on some necessities. I found that after I laid Jackson down, I too needed down time. I found myself looking over deals and coupons and shopping scenarios. Jon used to make fun of me, but I needed the pure quiet to unwind and this was a good way to find it. I have always been brand picky. I don't buy generic (unless it's Target's brand, because I don't find it to be a generic. I am NOT a fan of Wal Mart, or anything made by them, but will go for certain items) and I like what I like. I didn't want the whole saving money concept to come between me and the brands I liked.

Jackson used Enfamil as a baby - and I was buying him the ready-to-feed liquid for $1 a can because of the deals I'd get. I NEVER want to pay for cat food or litter - and I don't. My cat strictly eats Iams or Purina One Beyond, and I will never pay more than $.50 a box/bag of food. Sometimes this means having a TON of one product, but as long as I had the space - I was saving money. I was able to fly home to Colorado every few months. Jon and I ate out a lot. 90% of J's closet is Gymboree. I can't give up my department store skin care or make up (thanks, sensitive skin). That was what I wanted my money to go to, not napkins and other boring items.

I've been asked before what I get when I go shopping. To give you an idea of what a shopping trip for me is like (and yes, I'm weird and get very excited about my loot) here's a picture and a break down. I made a trip to Target with my beautiful boy.



I purchased (6) Febreze Sport fabric refreshers ($4.99 each, one not pictured), (2) Vicks ($3.89 each), (1) Vicks inhaler ($3.89), (3) Advil PM ($4.74 each), (3) Centrum Pro Nutrients ($9.99 each), (5) Vicks Nature Fusion ($6.99 each, on sale), (1) Vicks vapo-pads ($5.24), (1) Rice Krispie treat ($.69) and a Mavis die cast train from Thomas the Train set for Jackson ($6.19, also not pictured) for a total of - $157.15.
After rebates, gift cards back and stackable coupons - out of pocket, I paid $30.18 (including the $6 train and $6.74 in tax!!) That's a savings of 80%. If I don't include the train, since I paid full price for that - and tax - then I saved 89% . This is how I shop. It may be a little crazy, or weird...but we never go without and it's a little hobby now.

February

February. Before I got married, it didn't mean a ton to me. In school, I'd make my Valentine's Day box and look forward to an afternoon school party. I knew that the day after was my parent's anniversary. Other than that, it was just a month.

When I was 16, it came to mean the month that my sister would pass away. The month that changed our family forever. More on that in another post...just for her.

Then it became to be my anniversary as well. I wanted to be an October bride. I wanted the fall colors and crisp air - not red and white with snow on the ground. Jonathon was in Iraq and we had thought he'd get leave earlier or later than February. He had wanted to get married on leave - which was crazy to me, because how do you plan a wedding without a date?! I had agreed though. He called me one day, telling me his leave was sooner than expected. I told him I'd have to think about it. I said I didn't know if I could get it together that soon (the arrangements AND my mind). He called me back later, and I told him I was still on board. Jonathon told me something I will never forget. "Oh good, I was so worried that you were going to say you wouldn't marry me and we should wait now." Silly boy...there was nothing I wanted more than to be yours forever.

We had a lot of factors going against us. A lot of negativity in general. We not only made it - but we were stronger because of it. Iraq was a hard time - in some ways, he and I will never be the same. And in others, I'm so glad we're not.

He and I are surely opposites. We can find a disagreement just about anywhere. We have different backgrounds, interests, favorites and dislikes - but one thing we always knew is that we couldn't be without the other. Being married to him has shown me who I am and who I want to be. He has taught me patience and love, and I in turn showed him trust how to look at the big picture - not just today.

I love that he plans hunting trips with my dad. I like that he and my mom can joke around. I love watching him play with our beautiful boy. Mostly, I love that at the end of the day, he's the last person I think about and pray for and the first email I read in the morning.

I'm not exactly sure what path that the Lord has provided for us yet. I'm not sure where we'll be next year - or next month for that matter. But I pray that the path is a peaceful one - where Jonathon and I walk it hand in hand.