I'll do something I NEVER do - I'll let the whole world know (ok, maybe the 5 of you who read what I write..) about a specific fight Jonathon and I had.
Ok, well, this is embarrassing. I don't even remember what we argued about. Honestly it doesn't matter. It wasn't the disagreement that brought on the profound idea I had.
These last couple years, we've known too many people be diagnosed with illnesses, pass away, suffer loss of a child, and really just get a sucky, raw deal. I've been stewing on these ideas and circumstances for a very long time, honestly probably a few years.
It's always in the back of my mind that illness is always a possibility. I see that accidents happen.
I listen to the fundraisers for St. Jude Children's Hospital. I cry. A lot. Prayer has gotten to me more and more over the years. I used to pray as I fell asleep in high school and I'd joke that God gets tired of listening to me so he puts me to sleep. Now, I pray while I'm fully wide awake so I don't miss a single thing. There's a saying, "What if you woke up today with only the things you prayed for yesterday". Holy! I take that one to heart.
At the beginning of the year, I was on my way to get breakfast when my favorite radio station was broadcasting live at the fundraiser for St. Jude's. I honest to God cried my whole way home. Needless to say, we now make monthly donations to that hospital, and pray we never need to go there ourselves. Jon had a family member receive a cancer diagnosis and it REALLY hit home for me. The odd thing was, I didn't know this family member too well - but it didn't stop me from going infront of my church, with full on tears asking for our Senior pastor to lead the 400+ congregation in prayer for this special person.
First off, I don't do things like that. I am a silent observer and I keep my faith very close to the vest. I talk to God all day long, yet asking my church to pray with me was so foreign. Anyhow, these kids in these hospitals have such a special place in my heart.
Then there are the kids who don't have enough to eat. My child complains when we're out of Goldfish, and there are actually children starving. I think about all the parents out there who are honest to goodness good people but they lost their job and have no clue how they'll feed their kids.
I think about the kids who don't have a forever home. They're lonely, confused, angry and they have every right to be.
Back to the fight. I told Jon that he complains too much. I'm an avid believer if you want more trials and tests on your plate, then complain. It's like a challenge to God. Let's not challenge God. I know he DOES NOT punish, but he TEACHES and sometimes those lessons are ROUGH. I looked at my amazing husband and said, "At some point, you need to look around and be thankful that our child is healthy, and happy, and secure and safe. He is smart and perfect and the most gorgeous kid I've ever seen. Be thankful you have a job and a home. We have food on the table every night". He looked at me and just said, "you're absolutely right". Whoa.
That's the cool thing about marriage. I'm able to remind him of all the things we have and he's able to teach me lessons I wouldn't have otherwise gotten. Let's all put more into our marriage than what we take out. Do you want to win or do you want to be married?
As for me, besides my amazingly perfect child, I'm thankful that I have such a great husband. I'm thankful that we've made it. I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about how we'll pay our bills or keep the heat on. I'm thankful that I have an all loving God to turn to when I'm happy, sad, angry, confused, lonely, thankful, or just need a friend. I'm thankful to have such amazing friends. I'm thankful that I've been blessed in every area of my life and I know it's only going to get better from here. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.
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