To-Do's

A good conversation got me thinking.  One of my very best friends will be living apart from her husband for half the week each week for a few months.  She has more kids than I do, more stress than I do, more to-do than I do, and more courage than I do - but she asked me how Jonathon and I are able to live apart for so long and not go crazy.

My response is, "I'm no pro!".  Then I started thinking of how we actually survive.  How our marriage survives, how Jackson survives, and how we make life go on even when we're not together.

"Lists."  I told her.  "I make lots and lots of lists.  Sometimes everything on that sheet of paper gets done, sometimes 2 things get done.  I never frown at my failures that day, I just move them to the next day, or next week depending."  Wow, she just asked my advice and I told her to make a list?  Great, Natalie.

Really though, in all honesty, it's calming for me to write down everything that should be getting done.  I usually make a list of 10 items to do the following day.  They can be as big as detailing my car, or as small and specific as making sure the garbage can gets to the curb.  I also said to throw in some things you KNOW you have to do, such as feed your child lunch.  Take it to a new level and plan out the meal as well.

There's also a specific day for everything at my house.  A day for errands, a day for grocery shopping, etc.  Look, if I'm going to stay at home, I want to be the most efficient at what I do.

Another thing I said to do was not think about it.  Geez, I'm getting great at the advice...

When Jon was in Korea, I felt like I had days that it crippled me that I was doing everything alone with no break.  I noticed that on those days, when Jackson was hysterical and we were living with my parents instead of having our own space - I really over thought the situation.  I was angry that he had CHOSEN to go to Korea.  That's just the truth.  And the more I thought about the fact that I was volunteered to do this alone made it worse.  I was only allowed to miss Jonathon after Jackson was in bed and I had already gotten though the day.

Sounds simple, but plan on everything being my responsibility and I won't be disappointed when no knight on a white horse shows up to help me.  Knowing this made life tremendously easier.  It made me be able to miss my husband without being so angry about it.

I also said living apart sounds harder than it is.  Ok, yes, there's days that it totally sucks.   But I found my own routine, enjoyed my quiet time after 8pm, and I've lived to tell the world my experience.